HW #3 - MOTHERLAND

if you were ever a german or any other race apart of being Malaysian, then I have only one sentence for you, lieber Wolfie.

Kawen, duduk M'sia.

Until I say otherwise.

HW #2 - FRUST

Liebe Wolfie,

ich hab heute eksplodiert und geweint, weil ich mich total ein Loser gefunden habe. Ich konnte nicht entwerfen, nicht ein mal die Softwares operieren. Und wie schaffe ich bis zu Ende des Studiums selbstständig zu sein?

Yam hat heute ihr erstes Paydate und sie war recht glücklich damit. Ummi hat sie einen Blumenstrauß gekauft und rm700 zu den beiden geschenkt. Mir hat sie sushi gekauft und noch rm200 extra dazu geschenkt.

und ich dachte mir so,
sie ist 22.
studium abgeschloßen.
fester job gefunden.
gehalt schon bekommen.
die eltern teilweise finanziert.
bald verheiratet (ich nehme an)

stopp.

soll das nicht ICH sein?

ich bin doch das Erste, oder?

HW #1 - WOLF

dear wolf,

come quick.

season 1 needs to start soon.

wieso?

what is it about bitter tea, bitter coffee, bitter chocolate, bitter matcha, bitter lemon, bitter soda that are so satisfiying?

not all that are sweet lead to happiness.

.

in your case, bitter does.

.

daymn

Thoughts #82 - FIGHT

if only feelings are reverseable

.

things would have been much easier

Thoughts #81 - KAWAN ?

ich vermisse dich

sehr

WWK #42 - DANKE

"Never be sad that it ends, but happy that it was."

Kristinochka Puppy Tomel Shipupu

Thoughts #80 - MENTAL

every time you felt something, scroll lah gambar itu, bacalah hashtag itu berkali-kali

.
.
.
.

sampai heartbroken lagi.

macam tak biasa...

Thoughts #79 - DECIDE

You (car D) were driving when you saw car A started to speed up laju gila to kejar that traffic light.

Yellow.

Yellow.

Yellow.

Red.

At the very last minute,
Car A decided to take a very abrupt break.
Car B manage to stop but almost hitting A.
Car C stopped just in time.
Car D (you) break just enough but your heart raced like hell. You thought you almost hit C.

Car E, however, took an immediate right turn so not to hit you. He hit the divider and half of his car crashed.

But of course, car A didn't see what happened as result of his/her indecisive act. Dia ingat break dia tadi tak effect apa-apa, hijau, terus jalan sardin ja.

*

The problem of being INDECISIVE is that, you thought you harm no one, and konon nak jaga hati orang. But you are actually doing the opposite.

Stick to your decision. Doesn't matter if your decision is right or wrong, just DECIDE. Be firm with it. And let people know what you've decided.

Every second you spend being indecisive, teragak-agak, tak tahu nak pilih apa, you are hurting and harming other people.

Tau-tau kawan belakang tu dah mampus disebabkan perangai bangang hang.

*

Patut kena tengking dengan Kristina dulu bila tak boleh decide nak kopi ke teh.

"It is not my job to decide for you, Huda. Why should I force my brain to think for you? *

WISH #18 - ALL OUT

to travel for Balkan after graduation with a small number of friends and witness the history of our times.

*

marilah kita start kumpul duit from scratch, demi sebuah pengalaman yang dapat dikongsikan bersama anak cucu kita kelak.

Siapa nak belajar german ?

Ameen #40 - BEBEL

Iffah: Kak Uda.... ada pen merah?

Kau: Jap eh.

"banyaknya pen Kak Uda?"

"Coz I study Architecture" (motif sangat show off depan budak 12 tahun)

"Pen merah, pen biru..."

"You marah, I love you~"

"Ehhh Kak Uda tahu!"

*senyum, angkat kening*

.
.
.

Akak makan garam dulu, dik.

and no, dik... if I marah, I move on...

kau takyah nak I love you sangat, tak wujud dongeng tu

SOOKIE KNOWS

"It's sad and I'm mad... I'm smad. "

(Sookie - Gilmore Girls season 2)

Thoughts #78 - DROGEN

Opium poppy (candu) ni dulu masa zaman purba ancient egypt fungsi dia macam anaesthasia zaman sekarang. Pesakit jadi unconcious waktu pembedahan.

So, kalau hang argue kata, hang ialah pesakit yang mengalami sakit hati koyak teruk dan insist untuk di-treat ikut cara tradisional mesir purba, kira hang boleh la kan amik opium?

Saya nak bedah hati saya sendiri.
Gitu.

KRITIKAL

"[...] Kaedah Sokratik yang agak lembut dan beradab lahir daripada pengalaman Plato melihat guru kesayangannya mati dibunuh oleh penguasa yang tidak dapat menerima hujahnya. Bukan sedikit contoh orang-orang yang dihukum apabila cuba untuk berhujah atau mengkhabarkan tentang kebenaran.. Galileo Galilei dikenakan tahanan rumah hanya kerana mengatakan bahawa bumi ini mengelilingi matahari, satu fakta yang tidak disangkal lagi sekarang. [...] dalam sejarah para nabi dan rasul, perkara ini lebih jelas. Sejarah telah membuktikan bahawa konfrontasi idea tidak pernah lekang dengan kecaman dan ugutan terutamanya pendirian-pendirian yang menggugat kuasa politik.

Oleh kerana itu, Plato mengutarakan kaedah Sokratik yang lebih selamat dan lebih ekonomikal, kerana sungguhlah rugi jika orang-orang yang berfikiran cerdik dan membawa mesej kebenaran ini mati begitu sahaja. [...]"

(Kisah 25 Filsuf Barat - Matluthfi)

*

you know it's a good book when you take a pause after every paraghraph just to digest and rephrase your thought on it.

tahniah, Mat... rasa macam baca buku Tariq Ramadan versi kanak-kanak.

lama tak  bacabuku  camni. a good comeback it is :)

INTERPRETASI BERBEZA

it must have been so different how the feelings and emotion involved in the process of celebrating the 2nd MERDEKA and the 67th MERDEKA.

a different kind of appreciation.

SURRENDER & SUBMIT

Kalau rasa sakit koyak rabak hati nangis pedih siap rasa semput tetiba dek move on chenta dongeng ni last-last membawa pada kau solat on time, start baca balik ma'thurat dan quran, then maybe

just maybe

all the pain worth it.

*

Nak kata hang tu degil pala keraih nomharom sampai Allah kena bagi hang slap in the face bertubi-tubi sampai tak boleh napaih, knock down baik punya, just to tell you what you have been pursuing all along was not your real purpose in life.

Balik la Huda balik.

MALU

ni sapa mastermind closing ceremony sukan sea ya robbi....

jangan sampai aku panggei dak2 studio buat performance ataih tu

*

when you had the opportunity to gather the ASEAN countries representatives and heroes under one roof, why not throw the bits and pieces, heritage of every culture and countries to the audience.

instill the spirit of being a part of ASEAN, that we all come from the same root, project the same features and faces, food lebih kurang sama, fought the same war against the westerners,

paling cikai pun hang buat laaa video flashback all atheles of all countries fight their ass off for their countries...

ni

alahaaaai.... typical malaysians melalak sampai countdown adoi...

*

kalau aku jadi presiden filipina tu serius aku hilang respek kat malaysia

ASING

"...Pain is a form of force-detachment."

(Yasmin Mogahed - Why do people leave each other)

*

Pain is a sign that something is wrong. You depended on something that weren't meant to be depended on. You were attached to the wrong things.

And when it fails you, it hurts.

*

DETACH

DE #2 - FACEBOOK

For Facebook being given the trust to live-stream press conference of Bundeskanzlerin Angela Merkel of Germany is something to be well-thought about.

Germany kot... in all its efficiency

*

p/s: still boleh paham Makcik Merkel cakap ok~ *flip hair, pakai spec hitam*

#startfrombelow #deutschhilangtiada #postmoveon #kristinakataifyouarenothis1stchoicemakalupakanlahdia

DE #1- SAKAI

For a german, Malwanne ni boleh tahan sakai dia.

*

Oh kacuk Itali...

no wonder.

Abah #14 - POLITIK

the next time you think kids have the least idea of how politics run this world, think again...

They run household and unwritten rules and expectations and numerous negotitations and money.

Not to mention pulling out double-faces and rephrasing quotes of the quotes and interpretation...

All in order to survive under one roof.

NEUE TAGE

tahukah anda mengapakah basket dan zumba dan dancing tu addictive?

sebab masa hang buat tu, hang tak ingat apa.. hang di dalam satu alam yang lain, roh hang jadi bebas tak semena-mena.

boleh jadi jugak sebab kandungan hormon hang tinggi dengan adrenalin.

dan bila dah habih, hang jadi puas dan exhausted truih boleh pi mandi dan tidoq.

*

ada sebab kenapa minda separa sedar ni dicipta.

WWK #41 - ACIK HUDA :)

"Let's revise our Malay again."

"Emm okay.... all of the sudden? I forgot my Russian already."

"How do you say 'Hai, how are you' in malay?"

"Hello, apa khabar?"

"Okay, how do you say 'My name is Huda. '"

"Nama saya Huda."

"How do you say 'I am going to be an aunt soon. '"

"OH MY GOOOOOOODDDD!!!!"

and there came the water works....

pengsan.

*

kacuk Austria and Russia.

*

pengsan balik.

Abah #13 - GEDULD

Tell me again how to be patient when  dealing with an egoist?

AR #10 - PUAS

Terima kasih wahai sahabat kerana volunteer diri untuk di punch right on the face.

Kita jumpa round 2.

WWK #40 - SO LETS DANCE

Yesterday you stumbled upon a song that has saved you and Kristina from our common fight on picking up songs for our pyjama party.

Because no one can disagree on

Alor on Danse - Stromae

*

berapa tahun tak dengar ni hoi

WWK #39 - HANG OVER

Hallo meine liebe Hudochka! Never worry, we will always keep in touch, you have no chance to escape my love, it's decided. We are on a way back to Germany, the last days of holidays. I will contact you tomorrow from home. Kiss you, hug you!

*

cepat balik, Kristinochka... I crave russian women's superpower

MOVE ON

"I don't really believe in regrets. All my experiences, even the ones that didn't turn out the way I wanted them to, I firmly believe they were all worth it."

(Max - Gilmore Girls season 2 episode 5)

*

talk about redha and bersangka baik dengan Allah.

Thoughts #77 - TSCHÜSS

There are things in life, you thought it would be the end.

Sometimes it did, sometimes not.

If it is ever meant for you, it will come knocking your door at the right place, the right moment.

Till then, fix yourself. Wa tawakkaltu alallah.

WWK #38 - STRENGTH

The first time the friendship bloomed, 7 years ago, you have loved her so dearly. Then, Lena came and she got distracted. You got jealous and you thought you lost her.

So, you said to God,
"if she's the right friend, she'll come back."

and she did. Lena turned out to be an asshole.

*

4 years later, a huge fight broke between us, about apartment, money and attitude. You thought it was the end to the very special friendship.

So, you said to God,
"thank you for sending me her, I've learned enough and ready to let her go."

and she came knocking your door with a bouque of flowers in her hand, cried to be forgiven. Of course, you cried too.

*

3 years later, she is married to Stefan, which made him your brother-in-law. You couldn't handle Vienna and its crisis. But you were scared to leave Kristina behind and start all over in your homeland.

So, you said to God,
"take care of Kristina, dear God. Let her and her husband enter your Garden. And help me find my blessings."

and since you touched down your homeland, she constantly called you first...

"Why are you not taking care of our friendship? I don't believe there is an end to this."

WWK #37 - BABYSIT

Ada one time tu, Kristina sengkek, kering teruk. So dia decide untuk buat part time babysit budak 4 tahun. Kau rasa nak gelak and doubt that she could make it all the way.

Tapi tak kata la kat dia. Support la member.

"Ok la tu.... all kids are from heaven :)"

*

Seminggu kemudian

"You are wrong, Huda. Some kids are really created from hell. And meant to be in hell."

dan kau laksana tugas seorang kawan baik, gelak guling-guling sampai kluaq ayaq mata. Dan muka Kristina masih ketat.

Nikmat.

GEAR 2

word.

*

atoq balik cara hang hidup

Thoughts #76 - MULTIPLE PERSONALITY

Dalam salah satu episod sitcom F. R. I. E. N. D. S., Phoebe suatu hari tu sangat marah dengan Ross, tapi dia tak ingat kenapa.

Ross try tolong Phoebe ungkaikan persoalan kenapa dia marah sangat guna method trigger subconcious mind. Phoebe kena jawab selaju mungkin

'Hitam ke putih? "
"Putih. "
"Siang ke malam? "
"Malam."
"Kucing ke anijng? "
"Kucing. "
"Kenapa kau marah aku? "
"Sebab kau kata aku bodoh. Hah! "

*

So, kau pun try la kat diri sendiri...

"Lurus ke bengkok? "

"Lurus.
Eh jap, lurus, tapi kalau straight or curve, aku pilih curve, kalau gerade oder gebiegt, aku pilih gerade (lurus)."

ah, sudah...

MANAGEMENT

that moment, when your earphones went missing dan tanpa hang sedar, otak hang terus terbahagi kepada 2 compartment.

satu responsible pasang lagu playlist
satu lagi responsible tang thoughts, persoalan dan mengelamun

*

kagum dengan otak perempuan.

serius.

AR #10 - REALITI

apabila hang 26 dan selesai workshop dengan adik-adik.

apabila hang 26 dan insan-insan sebaya dengan hang ialah budak-budak Part 2 sem 5, tak pun speaker-speaker jemputan.

apabila hang 26, masuk tandas, pandang cermin,

muntah.

AR #9 - CARI REZKI

Majority speakers yang UTM sediakan adalah Part 2 yang tak mau sambung Archi.

Adakah ada agenda tersembunyi?

luls

AR #8 - CHOICES

Different path in life

AR #7 - SELAMAT BERBAHAGIA

Another Sad Love Song - Khalid

officially lagu rasmi untuk sambut workshop UTM

*

Khalid you so clever you lagu so chill

*

Marilah kita berdoa ke hadrat Ilahi, that it is not to a jerk the next time we fall in love with... Amen.

Muchas gracias. Adios

AR #6 - MATI

Cek kata lebih kurang begini

Aku pun pikir gitu gak dulu, tapi nanti bila dah tak da, time tu baru hang rasa. Time tu pedih, serius sakit.

*

Things you learn from a 20 years old

WWK #36 - HERZ

dear Kristina,

i couldn't wait for you to be back.

i did cry. .. wallow...

it hurts.

still does

WWK #35 - LOST WORLD

dear Kristina,

come back to Klagenfurt quickly please. I need to cry

OWN LIFE

"it's terrible not to be needed... you'll see."

- Emily Gilmore

WWK #34 - LEMAS

Dear Kristina,

you were right.

RAW

why is it in any talent shows, audition are always the best act (in comparison to their next level of acts and performances) ?

MM #47 - HIJAB

imagine the guy's mind all caught up with images of you, and won't be able to concentrate in his prayer because of you in his head 24/7.

imagine

you are the bearrier between him and his Lord.

5 tahun akan datang

kahwin nanti, background music 100% gamelan only.

nak lagu lain boleh pakai headphone sendiri, ke kenduri lain.

Thoughts #75 - WARISAN

why is it that the sound of gamelan is so soothing...

like a drug to the brain, it brings you to the nothingness

Thoughts #74 - JUDGE

Facebook ni, dah macam skrin rentang kat hari kiamat.

Satu-satu post hang hat dulu kala dia keluarkan balik setepek kena muka hang.

Speechless dengan diri sendiri jap.

KOSONG

“If you feel far away from God, ask yourself, who moved?”

- Suhaib Webb

WWK #33 - GOTT

Dear Kristina,

i need you, your cigarette, our nights and our rooftop again.

i need you to tell me again and again,
that God did not move, but i did.

Abah #13 - HOFFNUNG

And Abah told Ummi, he thinks he might not make it for 25th Oct.

*      *      *

Bila Abah kau dah start loose hope, bukan studio, foyer, hq, dectar, workshop kejadah tempat kau,

tapi sebelah dia.

*      *      *

and you call yourself anak sulung. pui.

Thoughts #73 - KASIH

Human are pathetic

in so many ways.

*       *       *

And You still promise us Your Garden? how merciful You must be.

Thoughts 72 - HAQ

When you are unwilling to prove anything to anyone.

But to yourself

and

to God.

.

ya Rabb. 

Maaf.

Thoughts #71 - TERIAK/QIAU

In episode 17 season 1, Gilmore Girls introduced a phrase called 'wallow'.

And apparently wallow is needed for every freaking girl to survive.

*

And you learned how to wallow hardcore for 7 years, with Kristina as a bodyguard.

ATTITUDE

That Kosovan girl really knows how to Blow Your Mind.

Minit ke- 1:31 done right

ROUGH

Dear Huda,

Awat la hang slow sangat discover Dua Lipa ni?

Silalah khatam beliau.

HEART DETOX

Also, los.

BEZIEHUNG

Lauralie : Ouh, supermarket slut is all chilled.
Rory: Mooom!

*

blessed the Girlmore Girls writer.

*

7 seasons... mati la nak marathon semua seminggu

bye Archi. I never really loved you, anyway.

WWK #32 - DARK RED

Der Moment, wenn du nach 1000 Jahren keinen Nagellack mehr getragen hast, und heute ihn zum ersten Mal wieder trägst.

That distinctive smell that you've been missing so very badly. Danke, Kristina :)

BADDEST

Dear Demi,

Thanks for Sorry Not Sorry.

#mood #f***allthisshit #tiredofduallife

WWK #30 - TIRED

Liebe Kristina,

darf ich zu dir? Denn ich kann kein duales Leben mehr halten. Es ist zu anstrengend.

WISH #18 - DER RICHTIGE

to be drawn away from the evil and attracted to the good.

to be protected by the All-Mighty at all time.

WWK #29 - IMPORTANT LESSON FROM A RUSSIAN

Kristina meinte

Hollywood ist Hölle. Sie zeigen alles falsch, vor allem, was die Liebe betrifft.

Seine Darstellung von Liebe lasst jeden verwirrend. Denn solche 'Liebe' existiert nicht. Deswegen ist man nicht befriedigt in der Realität und kommt immer wieder in die Filme zurück, um sie es zu finden, um ihn selbst zu befriedigen.

Und Kristina meinte,

Was Hollywood macht, mit den ganzen Szenen von "Liebe-Machen", sind eine ganz enorme Vertäuschung, Verfalschung. Und es zerstört jede Ehe. Denn die Junge wussten es nicht, das solche Befriedigung existiert in der Realität nicht.

Denn in der Realität geht es um das Respekt. Liebe ist Respekt.

Denn das einzige Ziel im Leben: Gott. Sein Segen.

Thoughts #70 - GUTS

Daliso Chaponda ni macam Trevor Noah,

they've got all the guts in the world to smear that grotesque in the faces of those Brits.

*

That moment, bila kau dah rasa azab dunia paling jahanam, you won't even give a **** to what others have to say.

Abah #12 - ZU SCHNELL

The Dr said,

Abah is of 50's but carry a body of a 70's old man.

Abah #11 - FIGHTER

The Dr said, with his kidney failure, high blood pressure, eyes condition and the on-going surgery, normal people would have suffer from stroke, paralyse, brain dead or worse die.

However, genetically his body is able to stand such pressure, so he survived the operation, even without general anaesthetic.

*

And you have always blamed his genes, for all those bad moments in your life, when it was his genes that saved you from killing yourself jumping that railway track back in Vienna.

WWK #28 - THE UGLY TRUTH

Kristina hat mal gemeint,

wenn du es mit deinen Eltern nicht so ganz richtig hinkriegen würdest, wenn es da keine Friede in der Beziehung zwischen deinen Eltern und dir gäbe, dann würdest du nie eine echte Beziehung mit jemandem haben.

Scheiße, oder?

*

Truth is sometimes a bunch of pain...

... in the ass...

Abah #10 - LEIDEN

Niemand mag warten.

Denn beim Warten beginnt das "wie wär's, wenn..." Spiel im Kopf.

Abah #9 - KRITISCH

Some people cry,

Kau

melangut tgk shiling rumah ...

Abah #8 - INSOMNIA

Unconditional love is,

hang balik rumah pukul 3.30pagi mengantuk sangat, dah la dissapointed movie tak best, and was about to go to sleep, only to realize your Abah was not sleeping coz of his health condition, and he needed company to talk to, so you gigihkan diri tahan mata and sembang with him for quite a while, walaupun mata nak katup baik punya.

.

I love you, Abah.

Despite all the fights, I have always loved you.

WEITERE SCHRITT

Perks of being 26,

the past of 25-year-old stories habih tang tu ja.

Hang dah tak kisah.

الحمد لله على كل حال. خلاص. هذا فقد.

WWK #27 - BITCHES ALIVE

K: 'I appreciate it so much that you never feel bad to tell me anything. Even the most shameful stuff. You dont feel like I judge you, do you?'

H: 'I never feel like you judge me. And I dont judge you.'

'But it's funny, because only you I dont judge in this world, I think.'

'Thats because you already know, I'm a massive bitch. What else is there to judge.'

'HAHAHAHAHA'

'HAHAHAHAHA'

.
.
.

The only person so far, where you can go all clean and all dirty with her :)

Thank you, Allah.

Terima kasih sangat-sangat.

KOTZEN

And we have a new type of PMS, Schatzi.

Makan.
Mual.
Muntah.

Tidur.
Mual.
Muntah.

Bangun.
Mual.
Muntah.

.
.
.

Syabas, Huda.

#periodpain #whenbackpainandcrampisnotenough
#when26hitsyouhard
#mampuihlakalaupregnantnanti

Thoughts #68 - TABIK

Sonny Bill Williams

.

Enuf said.

Thoughts #68 - THE NON-MAINSTREAM

Dear Schatzi,

Mai cepat pls.

Kita kawen.

Travel.

Work. Work. Work.

Travel.

Explore.

Work.

Travel.

Explore.

Work.

and when the time is right, kita

Settle down.

Raise a family.

Vienna #72 - INSPIRED

When you were in Vienna, you always rush back to your laptop and enjoyed British Got Talent and America Got Talent.
They made you laugh, they you cry, they gave you goosebumps.

Watching other people's effort was a nice escape from your daily struggle

Thoughts #66 - DATTELTÄTER

Ok, jatuh hati kaw kaw dengan Marcel Sonneck.

One of a kind.

Dia ni sebijik spesis Kristina. You have my respect, Marcel. Aku tabik hang.

LERN WAS

"Die Menschen sind die Feinde dessen, was sie nicht kennen."

(Ali ibn Abu Talib R.A.)

HAMDALLAH

When that 7 years' Hikmah starts to open its door bit by bit.

اهلا وسهلا

been waiting for you since forever...

don't have to rush... just that... please, do come.

Thoughts #65 - TABIK HORMAT

Younes Al-Amayra ni boleh tahan gak creativity and vission dia.

Bukan senang nak gerakkan muslim kat Deutschland + Österreich ni...

Respek.

MM #45 - LETZTE MINUTE

Ini Huda.

Beliau akan berangkat esok ke UK untuk travel 3 mingggu lebih dan baru harini nak pi re-new passport.

Beliau juga masih belum basuh baju.

Packing baju apatah lagi.

Minit mesyuarat workshop juga beliau tak sentuh lagi.

Namun huda menjadi huda, as always bila tang² last minit ni, beliau akan  berfikiran positif (tengkorak hang).

Jadilah seperti Huda.

MM #44 - SEMPUT

Dia like komen aku bodo....

Koma.

MM #43 - ZEINA NASSAR

Dah la tu, hudaaa...

MM #42 - BERLINER

Ok dah huda, dah.

MM #42 - TAK BOLEH MOVE ON

Zeinaaaa.....

Kenapa kamu sangat cool......

Sangat cooool....

Sangaaa....

Ok, dah huda dah...

Tapi sangat cool....

Zeinaa.....

Zeii....

Pengsan

MM #41 - GIRL CRUSH

Zeina ist definitiv meine super girl-crush für 2017.

She's a living proof that a girl can box like hell and still be a girl girly girl and speaks german and wear hijab, and a muslim athelte in Germany, and breaking the stereotype in Europe and be cool 'bout it.

Zeina, kamu terlampau cool

Zeeei......

Pengsan lagi.

MM #40 - HOT BOXER

Subhanolloh cantiknya Zeina Nassar ni, ya Robbi.....

and she got nose piercing, mein Gott...

pengsan.

*

If only Malaysians weren't so race discriminate oriented, I'd looooong ago get one pierced myself.

Masalahnya, muka pakistan mamak ni, tindik sikit orang da cop keling T_T

balik Deutschland la camni... join Zeina. ZEINAAA ICH KOMME!

pengsan

PEDAS IS CLASS

When you eat your lasagna with sambal kicap cili padi, you know how malay you are ..... :)

WENDEPUNKT

" You can practice shooting 8 hours a day, but if your technique is wrong, then all you become is very good at shooting the wrong way. Get the fundamentals down and the lecel of everything you do will rise."

(Michael Jordan)

.

Buckle up. We change the way we drive now :)

Gear 1.

Bismillah.

MM #39 - OHRWURM

At last, Slide full version kluar YouTube.

What took you so long, Mr. Harris?

Beraya lama sangat eh

Thoughts #64 - PARASITE

Weißt du das Gefühl, als wäre du ein Schmarotzer selbst in deiner eingenen Familie?

Weil du ja 26 bist, und noch finanziell von deinen Eltern abhängig bist

um mit deinem Studium abzuschließen
um ein Dach über deinem Kopf zu haben
um dein Bauch zu füllen
um deinen Darm zu befriedigen.

Und deine kleinste Schwester, mit 21, ist schon fertig mit allen. Sie bekommt pro Monat einen ausgesuchten ausgezeichneten Gehalt.

Und du fragst dich, was macht jetzt dieser Schmarotzer zu Hause, die ihre eigene Mutter täglich belasten?

WISH #17 - BEHIND THE SCENE

to be a part of a professional production team, be it for animation, advertistment, movie, documentary or more.

.

have always loved watching behind the scene of great productions.

professional nak mati baq hang...

WISH #16 - NUSANTARA

to travel the entire Indonesia, meet the people especially the rural area, and be mesmerized by its glorious culture and nature.

to learn the proper way of speaking bahasa Indonesia.

.

ni kalau dapat settle down Indo pun not bad ni.

Thoughts #63 - GRENZE

Many things, if it weren't forbidden, you would have done them, long ago.

.

And that is to say,

You are my Master,
and so I surrender.

Thoughts #62 - SONGSANG 2

How would you know, if you tengah bukak tudung dalam toilet, your aurat exposed and a transgender walked in?

You thought she was a woman.

Thoughts #61 - SONGSANG

If you were to choose between a gay man and a lesbian woman to be your housemate or lagi tricky roommate, which one would you choose?

Dari segi aurat, that woman akan bernafsu bila tengok kau. So there goes your security and privacy.
That gay man wouldn't give a damn.

But biologically, he can get you pregnant and she can't.

Acano tu?

UND WER?

HAHAHAHAHAAAA

.

Ok boleh stop gelak.

.

Sebab tak jumpa-jumpa.

Vienna #72 - DEPRESSION

It is never a good idea to unpack your bitter memory while you are in your period.

You will get too depress.

Banyak benda tak settle lagi dengan diri.

*

Awat la susah sangat nak dapat oksigen di saat-saat gawat ni...

Vienna #71 - SPACE

One of the blessings (out of many disguises) in Vienna is that

you get your own territory. Even if it's only 21m²,

but it's enough.

.

introvert loading 30% ............

MM #40 - ROTE FREUNDIN

Period pain is a serious shit.

all women should be given privilege of a free one week professional thai spa and massage every month.

Sakit bodo.

Sakit gila.

Sakit nak mati.

Ssaa...

.

Ok da mati.

WWK #27 - OUTCAST

Every single time, lepas habis call Kristina, you always had this one question in mind

where is actually home?

*

sometimes you just don't really know where you belong. where to fit in.

WWK #26 - INTERPRETATION

Once Kristina gave you Lindt Dark Chocolate Chili flavoured for your birthday, to which you asked why,

'sebab kau sweet tapi pahit jugak dalam masa yang sama. Dan kau spicy.'

*

what ever that means...

Beauty and the Beast 3

The only reason to why Gaston could successfully gather the entire village to kill the beast is because they were all driven by fear.

Fear of the Unknown.

It was not because of hatred. How can you hate something you have never seen? The entire mob had never even encounter the beast.

Bila kau tak tahu sesuatu tu, kau jadi takut, gelabah. Kau jadi defensive dan mula develop benci.

*

Agaknya sebab tu kadang kau takut dengan future. Coz you don't know what's gonna happen. You fear the unknown.

Beaut and the Beast 2

Lesson you can take from Beauty and the Beast is that

he was a beast. And all beasts have hope. coz pintu taubat tu luas. And if you are a beast, for goodnesssake, tak yah sorok la... embrace it and channel it to the right way.

and that maybe not all pretty women are bitches. Some have sense, not the helplessly acah² baik, guna otak and fearless.

*

Emma Watson ni makan jamu apa la gojes gini dari dulu.

Beauty and the Beast

"A broken clock is right two times a day."

(Dlumier, Beauty and the Beast)

.

Even if you hate that someone, there's always some truth in what ever he/she says. Even if it's inintentional.

So, turunkan ego dan telan. Boleh?

Thoughts #60 - KOPF HOCH

7 tahun Dia jaga kau survive sorang-sorang,

so what makes you think He can't take care of you for the next 2 years?

.

Have faith. Mehr nicht.

WWK #25 - WIEN 2

'Jadi singgah Vienna tak?'
'Jadi. Aku fly sorang. Tapi sehari ja. Settlekan bank n Uni.'
'Kenapa tak lama?'
'Sebab bukan duit aku.'

.
.
.

That moment, when you are 26 and still financially dependant. Looser nya ya Ampuuun.

TARIK NAFAS

The beauty of travelling and helping the less fortunate is that

you tend to realize that there are things in life far greater than the longing to be loved by the creation (read: partner soulmate kejadah yg hang dok cari tak jumpa² itu, wahai Huda)

You realized that The Creator alone is enough.

Focus your entire life solely on Him and He'll take care of the rest.

Khalas. خلاص

.

So, buckle up, dan marilah kita travel 3 minggu straight cuci otak. Diikuti dgn jaga Kak Intan.

Allah plan baik punya dah nak cuci otak hang.

Start enjin 26 elok², kita mula gear 1 dulu jom, Huda :)

WERK IT

That moment when you looked into the mirror and all you saw is karipap face, donuts tights and muffin belly.

.

Moh le kite ke gym. Let's dance like there's no tomorrow

Layar #15 - SPLIT

When you strongly have the urge untuk tengok psyco-movie dan takut nak tengok sorang-sorang plus no one is around,

then you tarik your ummi paksa dia tengok sekali

.

even if it's 1 am,

.

and at 4.30am she'd had to drive pick up iman at klia.

JANGAN MENANGIS // TERIMA KASIH by aizat amdan

Hoi aizat...
Lirik hang tulih ni haih...

Terkesan akak okeh.

Terima kasih.

KHALAS

Sabr is not remaining quiet and allowing anger to build up inside you.

Sabr is to talk about what's bothering you without loosing control of your emotions.

(Nouman Ali Khan)

.

to which why you confessed, because you wanted it to be clear.

Black or white.

Yes or no.

because you don't want to be caught up in your own emotions.

because, sabr...

sabr needs honesty. kejujuran.

and at least, you are honest with yourself. So you regret nothing

Thoughts #59 - SEMPURNA

Why do Allah let us seek love from the imperfections, when our hearts yearn for perfection?

Kenapa Allah tanamkan that sayang feeling towards someone, when you know all along that you'd not be contented by them? Even worst, you'd be hurt by them even?

PENUH

"everybody dancing in the moonlight"

...

missing those days, where daurahs were essentials.

when naik bas 18jam was a type of sacrifice.

...

just that you'd love to find those who'd dance in the same rhythm as you.

Thoughts #58 - YA AMPUNN

have always prefered cekak musang over teluk belanga...

Especially the black ones...

boleh pengsan

melihat

ciptaan Tohan yg Maha Agong itu.

WEH BEIM LIEBEN

every time you fell
remind yourself
that he of someone else
that she hang on to him still
that they wait for each other

so when you fell
stand up
walk away
dear heart

for you are on the wrong spot
you don't belong there

walk
and keep moving on

Positiv #1 - DEUTSCH HILFT

That moment, when you watch Hidden Figures in german with no problem, and you realized what your hidden satisfactions are.

Syabas. Boleh tepuk bahu sendiri...

.
.
.

... dan kembali ke gym, wahai makhluk.

Body dan health hang still bawah satisfactory lagi. Pui.

Thoughts #57 - ABNEHMEN

Banyak benda dalan dunia ni kita kena sabar...

.
.
.

Contohnya, sabar bila lemak nak cair
.
.
.
Sabar
.
.
.
Jangan sampai akak panggang diri sendiri

15th june

1st time dalam hidup sambut birthday nangis sorang-sorang kat bucu katil.

Coz you just cannot digest, what went wrong.

Why still in this state?

Coz you have been aiming 26 for so long

For your multiple life goals to be achieved

For your hopes to be fulfilled

For your victory to be celebrated

And somewhat

All that was shattered .... not by any evil enemy nor monster...

But by you. Your own self.

*

Terduduk jap, tunduk. Malu.

Thoughts #56

Lets tone down
your ego,
your voice,
your kilos,
your extro.

Lets tone down
your immaturity,
your lazy,
your sleepy.

Lets wake up,
and move ahead.

EGO

"You climb on the top of the mountains to see the world, not for the world to see you."

-Talk by Atia Paul Nickson, 30.4.2017-

Thoughts #55 - ALONE

It is true...

there are times when the only solution to your problem is to coat yourself under the quilt in a dark room and cry all you can...

Or

accompanied by an imaginary warm hug.

Abah #7 - LIHAT

That moment, when he asked you how many more stairs he had to take (when it was clearly only one more before reaching the ground), a part of you died inside.

That day, when he took his shirt, and asked you whether it's a t-shirt or a casual shirt, cause he can't see.

Get well soon, Abah.

KUMMERN

That moment when you realized that you do enjoy taking care of people and animals.

Motherhood loading 1% ........

ROSAK

Laptop rosak
Kereta rosak
Plan RIS rosak
Plan studio rosak
Charger fon rosak
Cermin mata rosak
Pointer rosak
Bilik rosak

... and many more

but you are too old to even care
too tired to even ask why
too exhausted to even explain.

so, harung je lah.

Bak kata anep, benda nak jadi.

WWK #25 - BDAY BOY

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag, Stefan!

Today, 37years ago, a child responsible in taking care of Kristina's loving heart was born.

Fast forward 34 years later, he met Kristina.

Take good care of yourself, so you may take great care of Kristina and your family.

And do pray,

that mine was born and soon be ready for the next step of his and my life, towards Him.

TIDUR

Dah nak masuk 26 cannot bangun pukul 1 lagi dah hudaaa please.

Puhlease

Puh

Lease

Seh.

MINTA

“When God inspires your tongue to ask, know that He wants to give."
(Ibn AtaAllah)

*

'thing is, you should know what you want, and be certain of it.

'things is, to know what you want you have to know yourself.

'thing is, to know yourself you have to know God.

AR #5 - GRUPPENARBEIT

Wow, doa makbul... dapat tepat... dasyatnya...

Dasyat sangat ni.

Sampai xtau, nak bersyukur ke nak menyesal

*

Coz only God knows what's right and what's wrong.
What's the best n what's worst.

*

Coz when u follow ur desire, u get confused.

Unless ur desire is sesuci kapas putih... hmmm...

Random #3 - RATU JORDAN

Queen Rania ni aku rs, duit dia pi kat 3 benda ja: Make up hair n clothes, great organic food, professional photographer

AR #4 - HALLO, 2. SEM

That moment, when all your same-age friends masuk kerja esok, dan kau masuk studio...

HOME

Thank you, Walk Off The Earth for Home We'll Go.

It's about time.

WISH #15 - DOLPHINE

to swim alongside the dolphines and trying to understand their language.

to dive and clean the sea.

WISH #14 - KINABALU

to hike the mountains to build up the stamina and eventually hike the mother of all the Malaysian mountains, the Kinabalu.

to prostrate up there to You, acknowledging Your power and kingdom.

MM #38 - BABI

Trump was once a helpless baby.
Hitler was once a cheerful toddler.
Najib was once a crying infant.
Netanyahu was once an adorable child.

How come they all were once innocent babies coming in to the Earth and end up dreadful like that?

WWK #24 - THE RED QURAN

You remembered that night, when you waited the whole day for Kristina to come back home (the dormitory), all anxious not knowing how she would respond to the thing you're about to give her.

Then late night, you heard the sound of her heels banging the floor.

You're afraid she might called you a terrorist, a preacher, a typical stereotyped muslim.

"Hey, we've been friends for quite a long time, I wanna give u something precious, something which is me. I love you, and hope u'd like it."

You slipped the red russian translation Quran to her hand. All worried. Maybe the friendship would end that night...

She saw it, took it and immediately hugged you tight.

And tears rolled down your cheek, out of relief and thankfullness.

STARK

Dear future partner,

Please read this. It is short, but 100% true :)

In fact, too true.

15 Things To Know Before Dating A Strong Girl Who Is Used To Being Alone

It was that 7 miserable years of europe that shaped me who i am today.

p/s: ich liebe dich :)

AR #3 - 2017

Of that shirt and that body.

Amen.

BAS

Hmmm... deep sgt ni...

That moment, when you realised, you have no energy to deal with assumptions and uncertainties anymore.

Not enjoying that at this age no more.

You're done.

Khalas.

#when26hitsyouhard
#malasnakfikir #malasnakamikport

CHANGE U

Ada dua jenis manusia with bad past dlm dunia ni.

The fucktard ones yang jadi pendendam dengan Tuhan, semua orang tak betul.

and

The thriver ones yang bersyukur pd Tuhan utk setiap satu kecelakaan yang menimpa. Came out with softer hearts and help others not to stumble with the same shits they had.

*

I experienced both types of manusia ni. The fucktard ones was a muslim. The thriver ones was an orthodox christian.

*

It's not the matter of religion, it's the matter of understanding and having faith.

*

The orthodox ones was Kristina. She had every right to be a junk, with the kind of past she had since she was 7. But instead, she is the most loveable, caring person i've met.

AR #1 - STARTEN

8jam flight yang membosankan...

    ... falling in love with sketching all over again...

TIBA2 #2 - KOKOK

It's 03:17, n you have less than 2 hours to sleep before driving off to KLIA...

... dan ayam Makcik Aisyah dok berkokok tak henti ni pulak, awat la wei...

... rilex ayam, aku tak sampai Sydney lagi. Kita pakai time malaysia dulu, k.

WISH #13 - SHOE RACK

Yup, I wanna built one just like this.
I don't care.
I want one.
Period.

BISMILLAH

WISH #12 - SIMPLE

Can I adopt Elmo and Olaf?

Banyak benda nak kena belajar dgn diaorang ni...

BUCKLE UP

DOUBT

That moment, when you almost doubt all your capabilities in taking and handling responsibilities for 26, and flash back came popping inside your mind:

'Hey, you survived Vienna alone. You sorted out your stuff from the smallest of toilet paper, to gadgets and tech, to searching own apartment, paying its rent, to insurance, bank and admin, to the biggest of student visa where you almost had to go to the court there... all by yourself... not to mention all in german... starting from when you were 19.'

So, tap your shoulder, and start using all those surviving skills u've mastered for 26 :)

You got your back.

WISH #11 - 30

to get my Juz 'Amma memorized completely before turning 26.

to get every possible surah in Juz 'Amma in my prayer. Not just the 4 Qul s.

... the long overdue goal.

ROAD TO 26

Lagi 5 bulan sebelum masuk the 2nd quarter of the century.

Moga suku abad pertama diberkati.
So far, you achieved most of the goals NEEDED to be achieved. Even almost nak matilah jugak harung. But hey, you did it :)

*

So, here's to the road to suku abad ke-dua.

1. GOD
2. PRIORITIES
3. ATTITUDE

As for no.3, let's bring our introvertness out, shall we, hudhud? :)

FAUL

Ini Huda.

Huda ada lebih kurang 24jam sebelum berangkat terbang ke australia.

Huda menjadi huda, beliau masih tidak mula packing barang.

Walaupun umurnya menjangkau 56 sekali pun, beliau tetap akan malas macam sloth dalam mempacking.

Jadilah seperti huda.

Vienna #70 - TSCHÜSS, WIEN

You were on that stage of taking decision to leave for Malaysia. As usual, movie was your escape route for the day.

You picked Brooklyn and almost could relate to the movie.

Just as the man sang the gaelic irish song, larla Ó Lionárd - Casadh An Tsúgáin, tears rolled down your cheeks.

You didn't understand it, but your heart did yearned for home.

WWK #23 - KUTIP STOKIN

One thing we do the same way for sure:

We pick up our socks with our feet. Like, by squeezing the socks between our toes n feet.

*

Ain't nobody got time to bend over.

Vienna #70 - LUFT

One thing you miss living in Vienna is that the fresh air. You would leave the window open even at night when it was -10°C outside in the middle of the winter, and sleep ever so peacefully.

It was the crisp air of the alps.

Vienna #69 - THANK

I think, if I ever touched down Vienna again, I'd be crying non-stop, remembering all the moments I had to go through in that city...

... and able to come out of it alive.

Thank You, Lord... for all those 7 years... walking through the live alone.

Thank You for not leaving me alone...

or I would have died.

Thoughts #54 - UNFAIR

It's not fair when only the other one is getting all mabuk-ed.

It's not fair when the mabuk-ed one doesn't know the ugly truth.

And the other one, the so-called wise one, just watches, observes... with popcorns, huh?

It's not fair...

Ameen #40 - AURORA

So Yam flew to Iceland to witness the northern lights (Aurora). Turned out Aurora was quite shy during their trip.

They had a great trip nonetheless. Iceland was epic beauty, picturisque. (I can only imagineeee!!!)

Yam left Iceland with a prayer that He would let her witness Aurora, when ever He wills. She thanked Him for the awesome trip and board the flight.

While on the flight, her friend tapped her shoulder, she turned to her, and they witnessed the nothern lights for the 1st time.

The captain agreed to turn off the flight lights for a few minutes, and there they were witnessing Aurora from high above... when all the other humans witness it from down below.

*

The things is, do you trust Him well enough? :)

Thoughts #53 - TINGGI

I'm longing for heights...

Where can you get heights, view from above without leaving south of selangor?

Somewhere with great view, quiet and no hawker stalls?

*

Bukit Ampang was good. It would have been great if we had the hill to ourselves... minus the stalls and noise.

FERNWEH

"Travelling, it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller."

Ibn Battuta

Thoughts #52 - BLESS

Could those suffering Alzheimer's forget how to speak?

How do they communicate with their Lord then? How do they describe how they feel then?

What language do their thoughts swim around their minds?

MIGRAIN

"Don't take life so seriously, you never came out of it alive anyways."

*

Hidup ini hanyalah permainan.

MM #38 - RENYAH

Wahai Malaysia, mengapakah sistem perbankan mu sungguh memayahkan...

Europe senang ja nak transfer duit... all electronic meh...

Bank-bank sini kiasu macam 2nd year ke cemana?

UGLY TRUTH

"Man, you won't believe, the most amazing things, that can come from some terrible lies."

(Some Nights, F. U. N.)

*

Nodding hard in agreement sampai nak tercabut kepala.

Thoughts #51 - SEJUKKKK

You used to sleep ever so peacefully in an 18°C air-conditioned bedroom...

Now you can't even stand a 24°C ones.

#when26hitsyouhard
#causebythistimeIshouldbegettingmybigteddybearbergerakobviously

DM #25 - PENAMA

Pi Tabung Haji harini untuk transfer duit ke akaun Iman. Got to know that I didn't have penama yet.

"Isi borang penama di sini ye, Cik. Minta Cik isi nama suami cik, ibu atau bapa."

K fine...

Silap tak pinang Syahmi Daud time workshop haritu.

#when26hitsyouhard
#why26why

TEILEN

"Success is only meaningful when you have someone to share it with."

(Doctors, Ep.4)

*

I dont watch drama. But if there's good ones, I watch twice.

Analysize, my friend.

Thoughts #50 - DIMENSION

We live in a 3D world, so what we see is 2D. Our five senses help us to visualize 3D in our brain.

A 2D world can only see things in 1D. They never can imagine what 3D is like.

We are incapable in visualizing 4D, as we a the 3Ders. Not to mention the 5D, and on. There are at least 20 stages of Ds as what some scientists claimed.

I guess, maybe that could be the reason why our akal can't jangkau what syurga and neraka would be like...

wonder, what dimension the here-after would be

WWK #22 - WIND

There was this one night, like many usual nights where she'd sleepover at my apartment.

Dia mai dengan lilin besaq baik punya.

*

She said it supposed to be a special ritual thingy we had to perform... to break our bad habits.

Write down all our bad habits and we will burn them altogether, and save the ash. She even turned off the light, konon nak amik feel la kot.

I was scolded for laughing out loud.

*

She opened the window.
"Okay, now we must blow away the ashes of our bad habits, and we will change!"

"What?"

Doubtfully, i followed.

Just as we started to blow away the ashes, a strong wind came blowing the ashes hitting it right straight on our faces.

Pedih mata, bodoo...

"The wind is saying: IT AIN'T THAT EASY, BITCH! Hahaa... Is this a russian thing?"

"No... I read it in the internet. Something psychology..."

*

Till late in the morning we can't stop laughing. Women are created to be mad, I supposed.

WWK #21 - ABENTEUER

We used to challenge each other on many weird occasion.

There was one night when we were having our usual night walk, we decided to take that narrow gelap-gelita-nokharom street, just out of madness.

It was dead scary.

There was this other night, when we jogged in the middle of Stephansplatz (city centre) in front of the cathedral, in the middle of the rain.

*

Thank God we are women.

Archi #68 - CONQUER

Der Moment, wenn du fast 26 bist, und dieses Gefühl "Schmetterling im Bauch" nicht mehr hast...

Just walk in, und scheiß egal...

Alle sind ja eh nur Menschen, keine Götter hier.

Vienna #52 - PICK

In German,

there is a clear distinction between 'Freunde' and 'Kollege'. One for friends, and the other for colleague.

It is a norm there to be labelled simply as colleague. They don't mix private life with work, nor with their course mates in Uni.

The Germans and Austrians never simply label someone as 'friends'.

They choose, they are a very precised nation.

*

Even so, in German

'Freund' means friend
'Feind' means enemy

Notice the choice of word. How closely related the two are.

Thoughts #50 - GIRL FRIEND

Cristina Stockstill has always been iman's n my girl crush.

Something about her simplicity and boldness that made her so sharp and admirable.

Thoughts #49 - perempuan melayu terakhir

Why is it, every time when you tell them that you are cleaning the kitchen, doing the laundry, mopping the floor, they'd tease you : "waaaah... calon isteri solehah ni" ?

Why not: "waaaaah... calon anak solehah ni" ?

*

Why focus on the future, when the present is to be lived upon?

You are someone's daughter now, so live by that will, ya?

*

P/s: if I'm someone's isteri, I'm not the only one doing the house chores. We'd be taking turns.

Patience ?

"It's a metaphor, see, You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing"

-Augustus Waters-

*

Well, your silence did kill me. You put your words right between your teeth.

How about letting it out?

Abah #6 - BILIK

When we were small, Abah would lift us up at nights to our bedroom bila tertidur dekat ruang tamu...

Syok sangat tengok TV ataih lantai.

There were times when we buat-buat tidur, just so that dapat kena angkat dengan abah :)

Abah was a strong man back then.

*

I look forward to that day, when you will lift our kids up to bed.

WWK #20 - BITCH PLS

Back then in 2010,

me and Kristina used to jump out people's home fences and gates.

We went night walking till 2 am till the end of Vienna border to Lower Austria, stopped by Mount Kahlenberg.

We 'stole' Peek and Clopenburg bags, lied to another Italian Fashion Company just for bags.

We (she) smoked in the dormitory while I kept an eye for the dorm keeper.

We ate dürüm under the drug-handler bridge in the middle of the rain.

We (she) flirt on with the Billa store keeper just for free stickers.

We (I) flirt on with the kebab guy for extra beef in the kebab.

We cried like hell when we were broke and had depression. We cried in a jew restausrant.

And many more.

*

May we both remain bitches through out our lives and never regret.

WWK #19 - CHAIN

'Sorry x call kau dekat 2 bulan, terlepas bday kau, krismas, new year...'

'Takpa... sebab aku tau kau sayang aku.'

*

Mana nak dapat kesayangan macamni, bhai...

Kau beruntung Stefan, dapat Kristina.

*

There are people in life whom you should keep till you die, and whom you should pray for to be your neighbours in Paradies.

These people are usually few in numbers.
So keep them, chain them with your love :)

Archi #67 - ZEIT

You got exam tomorrow and you came home thingking how suck you are still having to write a 1st year exam in 2017.

Migrain hit you hard.

You decided to watch Simon and Martina and realised that life is ain't that suck no more.

Your time will come.

Patience, my friends. Patience.

When life decides to give you lesson on patience, you swallow it real hard. 3 years.